Day 10- Brennen's Band Concert

Dec. 15th, 2010 Me and my sweet boy!
The whole crew

Brennen and Braden

The Duet

Leah and Brookly

Ben and Jarom, What a cute audience:)

Each day I'm trying to highlight the most important events and today I got to talk to my sweetie for over an hour this morning! He's been working crazy hours because of a different company's launch out there at Vandenberg and getting off too late to talk at night. (Of course, I was still up at 11:30pm last night and got to talk for a minute to him). It makes it so much better when I can really talk to him for a while and reconnect. There are just so many things happening each day that even just listing them takes all our time on the phone. I got the kids off this morning on time (YEA!), thanks to using their lunch money again, and then leisurely got Ben ready and I worked in the front yard for an hour pulling weeds and spraying the forest of weeds that has started. It felt good to tackle some of this monster yard. Then I did more laundry and cleaned up a bit inside. I was about to get in the shower when I heard the doorbell ring and Ben asking who it was. He opened the door! I heard him saying the child lock was on and to wait. He climbed on the couch by the door, conveniently there because the Christmas tree took the couch's normal place, and just let the person in. Luckily it was our neighbor, Leah Pitman, who he knows and loves:) I ran out in my robe and found out what she needed and invited her to Brennen's concert. She said she would like to go. We had invited her to all the hubbub of concerts last week but she was too tired. She also is giving us an organ and wanted to know when we could get it.
Leah is having to move home to Illinois with her children because her and her husband helped bail out 2 of their kids and have nothing left. Her husband, Richard, just had brain surgery for cancer and is a chain smoker so we don't go over much when he's home. He's in hospice for a few weeks recovering isnce Leah can't lift him. He goes to a group home Friday and when the money runs out they'll move in with their kids in about a month. Their home is for sale and we will miss them dearly! Ben and all the kids love to climb her tree in the front yard and dig in the dirt inside her front fence.
So then Wes called and we got to talk for a long time! What a blessing! I love him so much! It just makes everything bearable to hear his voice and know he's there even far away.
Ben and I played Kerplunk a few times and went to get the kids for early release. Early release for Brinton is every Wed. at 1:45pm. We worked outside a bit more with Brennen cleaning up piles of grass and weeds for me as I trimmed the out of control basil and bushes. Brookly had a long violin lesson and began her scales for tryouts for a Mesa Young Symphony. She had her lesson form Adrian through Skype. What a blessing that has been for us! Then Dallin ran the kids back and forth to Cub Scouts and Josh to Scouts early for a service project while I heated up stroganoff for dinner.
I charged the video battery and found the tripod and we left for Brennen's concert at 6pm. Brennen went a minute earlier with Dallin and we took Leah with us. Josh was still at the service project so he missed it. Brennen had a duet with Braden Roberts and later in the concert a solo part. I got it on video for Wes to see later. He did awesome! Leah told us she'd like to treat us to Dairy Queen for ice cream so we picked up Josh and got treats. I hope going to bed closer to 9pm for Ben doesn't mean a miserable Preschool party with Santa tomorrow:) The kids pulled out Hawaiian clothes for spirit day tomorrow and they were pretty much in bed by 9. The big boys were up a little longer until I got after them. I did dishes and laundry, locked the house and came to blog a bit. It's 10:21pm and I think I'll head to bed early tonight:)

Day 9 - Jarom's 9th Birthday!!! And Tired Ben & Brookly's Spelling Bee

We woke up and quickly got dressed and had breakfast so we could call Wes and do Jarom's presents. Jarom got Kerplunk, pez, fireworks, cards and money, and his new bike!! He was so excited! Alex had assembled it for us and kept it at the nursery until Monday night when we snuck it into the office under a cloth. What fun!
Then Ben and I got the kids off to school and went to Preschool. Ben was a nightmare! He was so grouchy and he didn't want to sit by Skylar so he said he didn't like her and didn't want to sit by her. He cried when I told him to go to time out or sit by her since that was the only seat left. Ben dawdled doing his new number "5" and didn't get to choose where to sit. He had a meltdown and had to leave class. I should have taken him home then! He eventually came in and said sorry but he said he needed help to say it. I told him I'm not the one who screamed at my friends and made them feel bad so he had to say it, not me. I did walk with him as he clung to my leg dragging as long as possible to not have to say it. During his fit the rest of class did the 5 paper and he missed it. He then began to cut his little book out because Ben D. left his seat and gave it to Ben. Oh what a morning! Then it was time to make gingerbread houses. They had to share the little red plates with the candy on it and get a partner. I told Ben to partner with Tessa since Ben D. had already chosen someone else. Ben decided he didn't want a partner and for 15 minutes threw a fit about not sharing. He ran away from me around the preschool table. I took him out again and he still came back fussy and angry and not wanting to be Tessa's partner. I had Tessa get her house to decorate and made Ben wait until she started so he sat by her with the candy plate. Then he was OK with me right there. He was so tired and unreasonable I wonder if he's also sick. Maybe just 4 yrs old and not enough sleep. Class ended and it was time to go home and go downstairs. Ben pulled out the blocks and dumped them and began to string the beads on because he didn't get free time today. I told him I was leaving and he cried and screamed that I'm stupid and I'm mean and he doesn't want me at school. OK, at least once a day I hear I'm mean- but stupid, no! In the meantime the teacher is telling me that her friend whose child has anger issues just keeps him home when he wakes up grouchy and I'm thinking, "If I knew Ben was going to act this way I would have kept him home and we both would have napped!!" Now I'm not too sure how he'll be on Thursday for the big Christmas party and Santa. Ben just wouldn't go to bed last night. He peered into my room after 10pm when I was talking to Wes. That's because he did fall asleep on the couch yesterday (and wet it). JOY!! I want him to be little but not do little boy tantrums. Any ideas how?
So after this fun morning I had to take him to Walmart to get doughnuts for Jarom's class for his birthday with me. He actually did fine there with his popcorn chicken and then he loved seeing Jarom and hugging him and eating doughnuts with him. At least that went well:)

Almost time to pick up kids now.

I went to the school and forgot that Brookly and Brennen have Science Club and Jarom was staying for Fun and Fitness. Then I went at 3:15 to get Brookly and she wanted to stay for Fun and Fitness so 2 wasted trips:) Ben was tired but didn't fall asleep so I'm hoping for him to go to bed with no problem tonight. Dallin wanted to go to Trevor's but I told him he had to come home and do homework with his grades so poor. I put together the Christmas cards and Dallin ran a few to the mail for me. We'll send the rest tomorrow.

Brookly won her class Spelling Bee! She will go to the school Spelling Bee in January. I told her we are excited and to just do her best! She is so darling!

Jarom and I went to dinner at Red Robin and first we stopped at Kripsy Kreme for his free dozen birthday doughnuts. They gave him an extra chocolate custard filled:) He's just so cute no one can resist! We had fun at dinner and the waiter was super nice and gave us a huge order of fries to take home for free. Jarom had a free kid's meal for his birthday so what a great, cheap date! Jarom loved his ice cream sundae and we missed Wes so much.

We brought home the goodies for the kids here and had our Christmas devotional and the boys are still doing homework. We did "The Other Wise Man" and I thought of Grandpa Sheppard and Christmas Eve with the Sheppards and the Nativity each year. I love the traditions of Christmas! Josh went to run for Cross Country. Dallin got squirrely and wasn't doing homework so I sent him to bed. He was just bugging everyone. Ben only got up once tonight so far...

Jarom, I love you!

Dear Jarom,

You are an amazing boy! You radiate joy and it spreads to everyone you meet! I loved looking at your baby blessing with you that said you would be a joy! Especially because you are my most special Christmas gift, the word JOY just seems to fit you so well. You are happy and bring happiness to all around you. It was so fun to get your presents and see your face light up each time you opened one. I loved our date for your birthday! Daddy wishes he could have been here too. Thank you for your cheerful attitude and help around the house. When you work it helps others to do their jobs more cheerfully as well.

You are so bright and have such great potential. You are still at the top of your class and can do anything your teacher challenges you with. I love that she makes you grow and learn, not just do what comes easy. You are a good friend to your brothers and sister as well as your friends. You have the mischievous smile that helps you get away with so much! You want to be good and choose the right and this is so important for your life. You care about others feelings and want to help.

You like piano, reading, and are so good at acting. I know it was hard to not get the part you wanted but you are sticking it out. You've had to say goodbye to friends who have moved this year and we've cried together when Dad is gone on travel. I love your tender heart. It's alright to be sad when you miss those you love. Always remember our Heavenly Father is there to listen to your sad and happy times. You can feel Him near as you listen to the Holy Ghost and follow his promptings. Our Savior, Jesus Christ paid the price for all our sorrow and sin and He is there for you with open arms. Follow Him and learn who He is so you can be like Him. He is your best friend and will never leave you. I know He's there and that He lives today. I know as you follow the teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints you will be happy. I love the scriptures and know the answers are there.

I love you Jarom and am blessed to be your Mom. I love our time together. You are awesome!

All My Love,

Mom

Day 8-Student of the Month & Mile Record & more bad news

Today is Monday so I got up and started the mounds of laundry and got Ben and I ready to go to school with Brookly. Randi picked up Josh and we went to the school and got to see Brookly get her Student of the Month award. She loved having us there! She was beaming! Wes felt so bad not being there.
We came home and worked here. I wrapped presents, worked on the Christmas card labels, looked at bills, checked grades, pulled weeds, emptied trash cans, etc. We picked up the kids and when we got Brennen from Running Club his coach told me he broke the school record for the mile today officially! He ran a mile in 6 minutes 50 seconds! Brennen was so excited! He called Wes and got to talk to him. Wes happened to be by his phone for a minute so that was a blessing!
Dallin took the truck for an oil change and they didn't have an oil filter so that was frustrating. By the time Dallin and Josh got back from shopping for fireworks for Jarom and Walmart oil change they had to eat dinner quick and join us for FHE. We did our Christmas devotional and read a few stories together. Dallin hopped on facebook without permission so he lost computer time all week. Along with his iPod lost he's going to have plenty of time to raise grades right? There were a few contentions but generally a better day.
Did I mention I also gave 4 haircuts today? Dallin said he had homework so he missed out. Ben was as adventurous as ever as I convinced him the clippers wouldn't hurt him and promised treats. They look so good!
Talking with Wes tonight was disheartening when he said the workload is too much to finish and be home Friday. He hopes to come home Saturday morning in time for Jarom's ice skating with Mom and Dad for his birthday, but will miss Calli's baptism.

Day 7-Sunday

Well we got ready for church and I wrote a talk for Ben and took all the stuff for my Sunbeams. In Sacrament they released me and put me in as the Nursery Leader even though they said they'd wait until Wes got home. I felt very emotional and tears came as Ben leaned over and said," Are you going to be my teacher anymore?" I told him no and he said he didn't want anyone else. "I want you!" he kept repeating. I don't want to leave him. I talked to the old Nursery leader and asked for one more week so I can finish the Christmas lesson, ornaments for parents, and the kid's gifts. This is very hard for me. Our Primary President didn't know she was losing me so I don't know who will take my Sunbeams.
We came home after church and our neighbor and friend, Denise, had made us dinner. Rolls, beef stew and cake were a wonderful Christmas gift from her:) What a blessing! The kids played Monopoly and it ended thrown everywhere beause someone cheated. We got ready and ewnt to the Stake Music Fireside. Brookly was singing and I invited the Pena's but they were tired and offered instead to watch Ben. He had a blast there and it was the big boys who couldn't stay quiet at the performance. I had to keep moving them apart for giggling and talking. I did make the boys clean up the game when we got home and it was another late night. So hard to not have Wes hear our angel Brookly sing Silent Night. Only 3 girls showed up so you could hear her quite well. She wore her Christmas dress and was so beautiful! I love my girl!
I called Wes as we left the church and had a mini emotional breakdown. It just seems so overwhelming and makes me so sad when he misses these big things. I know we are blessed to have a job but it just feels like too long until he's home again. We had to answer so quickly and I wish we had other options. The kids all mention to me how much they miss him or when will Dad be home. Jarom especially this week for his birthday. It was an emotionally hard day.
Wes and I talked with Dallin about the music and he was defensive but we took his iPod for a while because he downloaded without permission or approval. Someday he'll realize we do these things because we love him, not to make his life more difficult. Maybe when he has a 16 yr old of his own.

Day 6-Fun at Pena's

So we slept in a little and slowly got started on cleaning the house. Dallin left early for a Band Festival and the kids ate breakfast and began to get ready.
I came to the computer and found a playlist of songs that I didn't recognize so I began checking the lyrics to them. The boys said they are songs Dallin downloaded from youtube. Not one of them was acceptable. They all had profane, suggestive, aggresive or very depressive lyrics. Now, he did this without permission, put it on our computer, his ipod and then Brennen had put them on his because "it was Dallin's list so it must be cool songs".

I didn't know quite what to do so I texted Wes and deleted the songs off our computer and off of Brennen's mp3 and turned to For The Strength of Youth.

"Music is an important and powerful part of life. It can be an influence for good that helps you draw closer to Heavenly Father. However, it can also be used for wicked purposes. Unworthy music may seem harmless, but it can have evil effects on your mind and spirit.

Choose carefully the music you listen to. Pay attention to how you feel when you are listening. Don’t listen to music that drives away the Spirit, encourages immorality, glorifies violence, uses foul or offensive language, or promotes Satanism or other evil practices."

Scary that each song on his playlist went against this. He is constantly listening to his iPod and I loved the recent entry to our family blog by Jeff that talked about taking time to listen to the Spirit and not always listening to other music or radio. I told Dallin about Jeff's story just yesterday. I'm just not sure how to handle this alone. I will pray for more guidance before I talk to him. That's 3 major things this week for Dallin. A cry out for attention with Wes gone? I just don't know how much more I can take. And he keeps bringing his brothers in to these gray areas as he sees it. I am worried.

"There is no better time than now, this very Christmas season, for all of us to rededicate ourselves to the principles taught by Jesus the Christ.” —President Thomas S. Monson

I got a call from Tami to have the boys come help bring back the chairs and tables they had borrowed and she said she'd like to chat if I had a minute. Well, we all went down and stayed all afternoon and played and had a great time! Much needed break! We are blessed to have such good friends! We brought the chairs home eventually and I ran to Costco and we ate dinner then we went back to the Pena's for a fire. While home I did make the kids clean up a bit for Sunday. They did their work pretty cheerfully since they were anxious to go to Pena's. The big boys went to buy fireworks and then Dallin left for a surprise party with his friends. Then they came to Pena's with us. The kids were playing ball and Caillou got hurt so he and Alex hung out in the bedroom for a while but he did come join us for marshmallows and played Farkle with the kids before we left after 10pm. What a fun day!
Wes wants to talk to Dallin tomorrow. Wes finished his homework in time tonight and was exhausted from working early this morning and doing homework all evening. He has to work again tomorrow so we'll talk to him tomorrow night before Brookly's performance with the Stake.

Day 5 -The Day The Bomb Dropped & Jon Schmidt

Here we go! I woke up at 5:55am and Dallin wasn't up yet. I got him up and laid on the couch until I had to get the other kids up at 6:30.
Brookly was running late and had to skip making a lunch- that's why we put money in their account at school- and we had to come back after we left because she forgot her homework. I did another load of laundry and bathed Ben and did dishes. Yes, Thursday is my day to load and I didn't have time so I got to do them this morning:) I took a picture and sent it to Wes of Ben in his Daddy's My Hero shirt. Wes is my hero too. I'm going to get ready and Ben and I will attempt Walmart.
Left for Walmart at 10am and got home around 1pm. Yes, it takes about 3 hours every two weeks and I still need to go to the farmer's market and Costco for milk and meat and laundry soap:) I forgot to use my coupons but did ad match:) I admit, this time was a little longer because we had to figure out Jarom's birthday treats and school secret Santa for Ben and find a frame for our new family picture... always so much to shop for.
During our trip to Walmart, Wes texted me and I felt like I'd been hit by a truck.
Here's the email he was sent this morning from his boss.

Wes -

Hope you are having fun at VAFB. After RPP the plan is to have you come
back and work for me on Tacsat4. We are supposed to ship to Kodiak 2/14 and
start the field campaign first week in March. This is a lot of travel for
you, think it through and let me know how that sits with you and your
family. We're trying to get everyone assigned to multiple missions to
spread the wealth.

Jack Farrell
Orbital Sciences Corp
Launch Systems Group

In other words, here's your next assignment or it will be hard to have a job for you. I didn't see another option worked in there. Jack has a family but doesn't seem to mind staying for long weeks "in the field". He makes Wes stay extra days almost every time he's with him. I am so torn! I am very grateful for a job and it is actually extra pay when you are in the field longer than 14 days, but he'll be gone for long weeks at a time and home a few short days in between. I broke into tears in Walmart and there's no one here to cry on. I just don't know how I'll be a single mom for so long at a time. I am worried about how this is affecting our children and me. They cry to me at night that they miss Daddy and it's only been a week! I do feel more strength this time and am trying to read scriptures and keep family prayers and scriptures going so I feel better able to handle this. I just don't know if I can do it for so long...
When it rains, it pours right? Wes called when I got home to tell me they changed his schedule so he goes out for 10 days on Jan. 2nd not just 5 days, home 3, then out 2. If they won't send him home on weekends from CA I'm afraid of what that means for Alaska. OK, how much can I take in one day? Please let him come home before you tell him any more time away! You know, this wouldn't be so hard if I didn't love him so much! I am grateful he is healthy and able to come home when work lets him. I always thought I could never send him to Alaska because of the extreme cold and time away. Well, he's at least going to a warmer launch site and won't need the whole new wardrobe.
On the way home from Walmart Ben announced that, "I need a nap." He didn't take one but I could use one as well!
Ben is watching Backyardigans on Netflix (heaven sent) while I try to pull myself together for the rest of this busy day. I hope he behaves himself. I did stock up on Mentos and Starburst. Couldn't find lifesavers at checkout.
I chatted with Adrian about my new calling and then went to get the kids. They are in such a sour mood! Brookly didn't get the part of Belle in the play, she got the footrest, a dog. Jarom didn't get Chip, he got a part he doesn't even know the name of and Chip is a girl and Gaston is a girl who got the part. Crazy! Brookly is stomping around and says she doesn't even want to do it now. Oh joy! I thought the day couldn't get much worse. I told the kids about Wes going to Alaska and after a good cry with Brookly she seemed to perk up. I picked up Josh from Smith and then made pizza and garlic/lemon salad for dinner.
We got dressed up and left for the concert at 6pm. We met Vicki and Verle and got Calli from them to go with us. We gave her Wes's ticket. It was so much fun to have her with Brookly! The concert was phenomenal! If you've never seen Jon Schmidt in concert with Stephen Nelson, the cellist, you are missing out! They were amazing! Jon did a song for his sister who died when he was 19, called up a guy from the audience to play jazz with him, (Kevin was incredible and so it was the coolest song of improv) he even did dumb song by request and lots of beautiful Christmas songs. He did Lovestory meets Viva la Vida like the youtube video! What a wonderful way to spend the night and lighten our mood for the holidays! Of course the night wasn't without an adventure for Ben - what did you expect when he didn't get that nap he knew he needed:) Almost as soon as it started Ben said he wanted to go home, loudly. Remember this is a 3 hour concert. He was done and tired. He didn't like the fruity Mentos and ate half the minty ones before we discovered Starburst worked for a little while. He would watch the concert for a bit and then complain again. He couldn't sit still and got up and down. Finally at intermission we got a pillow from the car and made him lay down across Josh and I and then moved him to the floor where he fell asleep. Brennen caught a ball that Jon threw during Intermission. Just so much fun! What an awesome show! He is truly gifted and inspiring! I just wish Wes could have seen it with us. We took Calli home and it's 11:12pm. The kids fell into bed. They all commented that they loved it and even Josh said it was worth missing the Scout campout. I love doing things like this together for the memories it makes.

Day 4

I thought this pic of Ben expressed him today perfectly!

Couldn't sleep last night. I don't sleep well with Wes gone. I tossed and turned and woke up at 5:30am when I heard Dallin's alarm go off. He didn't get up so I got him up. I read scriptures and ate breakfast and when he left I woke up the other kids. We rushed to get their stuff together for their concerts at school today. I grabbed my shower so I could be ready for Preschool in time. I took the kids and then came home and got Ben and I ready. I took Josh's carpool and went to Preschool. Ben made a reindeer candycane and jingle bell necklace and learned the letter D. He loves school!
After school Ben and I met my friend Kristy and her kids at McDonald's. She just found out she's pregnant and had a rough night so didn't want to chase kids at the park. We had a good time and then Ben and I came home and crashed reading books in his room. I woke up when Wes called for lunch. He said that the schedule for travel has changed and he has to go back to CA on Jan. 2nd. That's a Sunday! He'll be gone on and off through the launch Feb. 5th. We pray it goes well and on time! This was disheartening news. I guess I knew he'd go back out in Jan but he's not even home yet and that seems too soon:)
Brennen had a solo in the concert today and the person over all the Band in Mesa Public Schools was there and told them they did good and were well behaved. Remember that this Band had only half a year with a man last year who is being tried for child molestation so Band took quite a hit. The new Band teacher this year is good and Brennen likes her.

Did I mention our printer broke yesterday and was just clicking and paper was stuck in it? I got the paper out but no ink prints now. We really need this with kids projects and papers due the last weeks of school before break. I can't print the Christmas letter! What a pain! Wes told me to try unplugging the power and now there is faint ink. Who knows? Also this morning the toilet in Brookly's bathroom broke. Nice.
So we got the kids home and they worked on homework and I made beef stroganoff and salad and tried to call them together for dinner. Dallin picked up Josh from Cross Country for me at 5 and then we raced to get Brookly to Orchestra concert and come back for the rest of the kids while Dallin left for his concert with Josh and Brennen to watch him. The orchestra and choir concerts were nice and they finished earlier than we thought so we ran to see the end of Dallin's concert.
Remember that Ben has a little cold and is not quite himself and got up early and had preschool and this was his 3rd concert. He ate the entire roll of lifesavers and half a roll of Mentos during Brookly's concert so I was out of ammo and he was full of sugar. With that in mind he took off his shoes and socks in the back of the auditorium and began to play musical chairs running through the back aisles and rows of chairs without people in them. He wasn't too loud, so I opted for the ignore routine instead of panic and have him sit on my lap screaming which is much more disruptive! The concert was fun and I loved Sleigh Ride. Afterwards Dallin came back and didn't see us apparently because he stopped at a group of people to talk so we came down to him. Ben ran to him and hugged him while jumping on him. When it was time to go I told him to get his shoes on. He continued to run crazy so I asked Josh to just carry him to the car. He carried Ben who wailed the whole way to the car that he wanted Mommy to carry him. It was 76 degreees today so it wasn't freezing or anything, I just didn't want him to walk across the dark parking lot in bare feet and I can't carry him because he's too heavy for my back. If he'd put on his shoes when asked he could have walked with me. By this time Ben was well beyond reason and ran away from the car when I got in and said we were leaving while he threw his fit. Luckily, Brookly was still out of the car and caught him. We got him in the car but the fun was not over yet:) He climbed to the very back of the suburban and when I opened the back he jumped over the seat to the middle. I finally outsmarted him in this when he was climbing and didn't see me sneak back to the front to grab him. So now he is screaming and I'm in the middle of the car trying to buckle him, assuring him we will go back to the baby carseat and no booster if he doesn't stay buckled. He unbuckled and got a swat. I had Josh hop out and child lock the door so he couldn't open it on the way home and Brookly hold the seatbelt to stop him from unbuckling. So 10 minutes later we haven't left the parking lot, He was still screaming and began to say that when we get home he's moving out. I am truly the meanest Mom, you know. We are all mean to Ben. We asked him where he was moving to and he said outside our house by the side. OK, not too far away, tonight I could let him... I sent Dallin for ice cream, ah the joy of another driver, and Ben didn't get any when we got home. He protested he would starve and was hungry so I gave him oatmeal while we had ice cream. A pretty good compromise I decided so he wouldn't scream any more. Jarom fell into bed when we got home before ice cream. Poor kid, he was just exhausted. These late nights are killing us. School tomorrow and then Jon Schmidt concert until 10pm. Stay tuned for another Ben adventure I'm sure. I will restock on treats in my purse.

After the Ben fiasco the kids went to bed pretty good. I kept Dallin up to have a heart to heart talk about his recent poor grades and deceit. We called Wes and talked for a while but he had to get back to his Final paper. Dallin left saying that was the first time he'd talked to Dad all week. This is why it's so difficult when he's gone. Wow, it's been quite the day. Josh is still up doing a book report project. It's 11:24pm and tomorrow is grocery day. Do I dare brave it with Ben?

So I did another load of laundry, locked the house and checked the kids. It's 11:55pm and Josh is still up. I brushed my teeth and realized no one told me I still had stroganoff in my teeth from dinner. Went to all the concerts that way...

Day 3

We got up at 6:30am because of late start Wednesday for Dallin. I attempted to fix an ingrown toenail for Brookly - we need Wes. After the usual runs to school I started laundry and caught up on email, facebook, and wrote our Christmas card. Ben and I are off to Target to get our family pictures out.
The pictures are so cute! We brought them home and did more laundry then picked up Brinton kids at 1:45pm. They started homework, watched some TV and we had cheese crisps and tostadas for dinner. I looked at ads for groceries. I made a few lists. I worked on the tree some more and did a few carpools to Scouts. Brookly had a choir practice for her song for the Stake program. The older boys went to the Temple lights for mutual. Ben, Jarom and I read Polar Express and cleaned the living room more. They bathed, which means put on their swimsuits and played in the bath for 1/2 hour while drenching the whole floor, and Brookly did her dishes and then we did our devotional. I found Brookly's violin books, missing for 2 weeks now, with the piano music when I got out the Christmas music. Brookly called Aunt Adrian to tell her the good news! I broke my nail half way to the quick trying to pull out the vacuum attachment. Always an adventure. I just need the ladder to finish the top of the tree. I love our tree!
Wes will talk to me a little later as he's trying to write his Final paper for his last week of Accounting class. Crazy that we don't even get to connect much when he's gone. Next week he'll have more time to talk because he'll have a break for a while before his next class. I pulled out lots of stuff from my closet searching for the RC battery packs I bought for Brennen for Christmas that seem to have disappeared. No luck yet. I'll keep searching and praying. It's 9pm and the boys are home from the lights and getting ready for bed. Josh has English homework.
Talked to Wes and wound down things and went to bed at 11. Josh was still up.

Worth It November 23, 2010

This is what makes it all worth it! Brennen had to write a paper for English. He chose me. I love his sentiments and selective memory:) Josh didn't agree when he wrote it because he hates my meatloaf. Ahh the joys of so many:)
Love,
Nicole

Brennen Gardner

November 23, 2010

Final Copy

Mom

“Mmm, good food Mom,” said Ben, my little brother. My mom had once again made the meatloaf that tastes like heaven. She has delicious food that makes you mouth water from just one bite. The smell of it just makes your body warm up. Her food tastes like heaven. It is always really good. My mom is good at many things.

Every Saturday my mom turns on music as we work. Just about every time she’s working you can hear her singing along with her country music. She will clean until everything is spotless. We have to do chores to help out. When you help her clean you can always see a big smile on her face.

I love to play games with my mom. On Sundays we have more time and we play Apples to Apples and Rummikub and our new game, Hullaballoo. If you could see us play, you’d think we were the silliest family ever. I feel special that my mom spends time with me to play games.

My mom never gets mad. All of the time you can hear her sweet, soft voice. When you hug her you can feel her smooth, soft skin. You also can always see a big smile on her face. Her blond hair and freckles make her irreplaceable. I’m so glad I have such an awesome mom. I love her so much. Her love for me makes my day go be a lot faster. I feel safe and loved when I’m with my mom.

November 28, 2010 So I don't forget

Hiya,
Just to let you know we made it home from Pinetop safely in the snowy, icy roads. That was the least of the adventures today! At church the boys got to shovel snow in their short sleeve shirts with no jacket to keep the walks clear so the ward could get out. We have such valley boys that they thought this was fun and want to live in snow to do this every week; (Josh's statement) During sacrament Wes all of a sudden got up, panicked, from a phone call and left us all sitting there wondering what had happened. Come to find out our house alarm was going off and it was the alarm company. He told them not to call police since we had a neighbor, the Pena's, watching our house. Wes tried calling the neighbor and his wife's cell and home and they didn't answer. He texted Alex and got a response that Alex would run down in the rain and see what was happening. He put in the code and stopped the house alarm but our smoke alarms were going off. It was a dead battery in the smoke alarm that triggered the alarm of the house for the glass breakage. What a mess! Wes called the alarm company and told them to just not monitor for 24 hrs while we got home and fixed it all.
Then we stayed for the 3 hrs and watched snow pile up on the cars while we were in church. We slowly made our way back to Mom and Dad Gardner's in Pinetop and quickly pulled our stuff together to leave as soon as possible. Of course they served us a delicious hot lunch before we headed out and we thought all was well. As we were in the canyon Wes told me that the RPM reading was going all the way up. I looked over and the oil was at 0! So he decided to get us out of the canyon and hope for the best. It was lightly snowing when we stopped on the top about 30 miles from Globe. It was now dark and icy and Wes decided to check the oil with the car running since if it was an electrical problem he was afraid we'd be stuck there. Well, that came up as NO oil left so we were stuck and baffled. We didn't have coverage for cell phone but texting was randomly working so after a prayer to know what to do and get safely home we texted the Pena's to call AAA and Mom and Dad Gardner for us. We didn't want them to worry or come out on the bad roads. After 40 minutes a car stopped with a guy and his wife who had been fishing (much to Dallin's delight) and they checked the oil again and it was normal. Our RPM still read at the 6 mark but he had us follow him into Globe to make sure we weren't stranded. Alex had readied his car and was willing to leave that moment to come get us so we felt truly blessed. We feel it was prayer that helped us get home. Whether the oil was read wrong or not we feel it was a miracle for us that it turned out ok. When we got to Globe we parted with the guy and Wes rechecked the oil and everything seemed fine even with the poor readings. So we are now home and feel very grateful to be.
We hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and know that we are so grateful for good friends and family who love us and are always there for us. That is what is most important!
We are excited for Christmas spirit to fill the air as Wes leaves for the next launch prep Sunday Dec. 5th - Dec. 17th. He'll miss Brookly singing for a Stake Musical event that night and every kid's Christmas concerts, Ward Christmas party, Jon Schmidt concert we already have tickets to, and even Jarom's birthday on the 14th. But... he'll be home for Christmas and not have school that week either. Being a single Mom for the holidays increses the stress for me but helps me remember how blessed we are that we have a job that supports our big family. This is so hard on Wes as well as he loves to support the kids and be a part of all they do. I hope this helps us center on Christ more as we rely on Him more this month. We love you and hope the holidays bring love and peace! We may or may not get cards out this year:)
Love,
Nicole

Day 2

I woke up at 6am and Dallin had not gotten up yet for Seminary at 6:30am. I woke him up and he hustled out the door on time:) Dallin remember to take his Tux to get it fitted for his concert Thurs. He has to go after school since he has the truck. We bought it from Lesueur's and they guarantee it to fit through high school by just paying for alterations. Not a bad deal for Band and Prom's:)
I hurried the other kids and put the mail for Mom and Dad Gardner under the mat because they are going home to Pinetop today after being here for the funeral and we got the mail after we saw them yesterday. Today was preschool with Ben so that means everyone has to be ready and out the door on time. My elementary kids were on time today and things looked good. Ben had his bath and was dressed before we left for the Brinton run. I came back and Randi had texted about carpool. I told her I could do Tues and Thurs morning since I take Ben to preschool close to Jr. High anyway. (I had previously told her no carpool this 2 weeks with Wes gone and Dallin having the truck) This should work out nicely.
So off to school we took Josh and Adaline. Ben loves sending Josh off with the window down and yelling "I love you Josh. I miss you. Have a good day!" They are so cute! Josh reaches through the window and hugs Ben and all seems right in the world:) Then we got to preschool and had a fun day of crafts and learning the letter L. Ben worked hard with a little persuasion to get free time. He is a perfectionist and likes to take his time to do things well. This will someday be a blessing! Right now it's a challenge to see him not finished when the other kids get to play waiting for him. He has to have the new letters look exactly as they should or he erases them and does it over. He writes his own name and is progressing socially. This has been a huge blessing for him! Today was a special Christmas craft class after school and so he got to bring his lunch. He brought one of my homemade rolls from Sunday and he loves those! He stayed out playing a little too long and didn't quite make the toilet. I washed out his underwear and Tiffany gave me some other clothes from her Ben to wear home. My sweet Ben would not wear them. He insisted that Ben would be mad and would not put them on. I told him he was missing the crafts and I'd have to take him home if he didn't put pants on. So he put on the pants I had washed off. What an adventure! After class I told him he needed a bath when we got home and he called me stupid and spit at me and called me poopy and told me he didn't need a bath because he took one this morning. Oh, the logic of my little 4 year old. This was on the way home so I told him he'd get time out. He fell asleep on the way home... He has a slight cold and went to bed at 9 last night which is past bedtime for him so I think he was just extra cranky. Poor kid!
I checked my phone and saw that my Mom had called and she told me that my cousin Chanda Sheppard-Frost, the one in Germany with her husband Shawn in the military, has a little 7 yr old who was just diagnosed with leukemia. These are the Sheppard cousins that we grew up with and this is Myrna and Bill's daughter who have us to the family dinners on Fast Sunday. My heart is breaking for them. They are so far away. Darla, her older sister, and her family are 3 1/2 hrs away in France but that's still so far... Words just don't seem adequate for the sadness I feel for them.
Then I got home and there was a message on the machine that my Jarom was tackled playing a game at recess and has hurt his head. A kid landed on his head. They can't give him Tylenol so that they don't mask any symptoms of head injury. My sweet Jar wanted to stay at school when I called back and talked to him in the nurses's office. Oh, the joy of boys I say!
I'm off to do dishes and laundry before the afternoon carpools start and Brennen's Dr. Checkup for his allergies that have been giving him a hard time.
Checkup went well and even got a sample of Singulair so we saved a bundle. I made Zuppa Tuscana soup and we had it with the rolls. Dallin rushed off to do service hours for Honor Society by helping with a canned food drive at the choir concert. The rest of us headed to Josh's concert and he was great! He played the timpani and the bells. We came home and I asked the kids to pull together to pick up the family room. I tried to get out a sliver for Brookly in her foot. I'm just not good at that stuff. After some work together we did our Christmas devotional and I called Wes. I wrote down the to do list and organized my thoughts. I got to bed about 10:30pm and Josh was still doing homework.

Day 1-December without Wes

Ok so Wes left yesterday, December 5th while we were in Sacrament. He had to fly to CA for the prelaunch set up. The launch is scheduled for Feb. and we recently found he'd be leaving in Dec. but 12 days the last weeks the kids are in school means he misses every concert and event they are involved in. He will be home for Christmas and has a job so we are grateful. That doesn't make being a single Mom to our 6 for Christmas any easier. He'll be home Friday the 17th after we get home from the Ward Christmas Party.
That said, the adventure has begun! While at church yesterday I received a new calling to be the Nursery Leader. Shhh, I'm not sure when I'll be put in with Wes gone another week. Not sure yet how I feel about it, although I accepted and will do my best. I have been Ben's Sunbeam teacher for the last year, along with Scout Advancement Chair, and I will miss him dearly. Who else will be so gentle with his antics and what will the kids do without snack time? He won't do well if they can't get a permanent teacher without many substitutes. I am worried also about not seeing my others in Primary and having that connection anymore. I don't have a child in Nursery and am pretty sure I never will again so this seems a strange time for me to be taken away from the rest of my kids. Now, don't get me wrong... Brother Rappleye extended the call to me by saying that the old Bishopric had prayed about this and felt good and when it was changed a few weeks ago to Bishop Peterson, Brother Pitney and Brother Rappleye, they prayed about it and also felt this is where I'm supposed to be. This was his first call and he said he was as nervous as me:) I am working on that confirmation for myself. Kind of hard to think of when I had just taken the pictures of my Sunbeams for their ornaments for their parents and was so excited to teach them about Christmas and get their little gifts of their own picture of Jesus. I love my Sunbeams! I hope they will go to good hands.
Also at church Dallin came and got me out of Sharing Time to see him put in as the 1st Assistant to the Bishop of the Priest Quorum. It was a beautiful blessing and I wish Wes could have heard it. He was told to study the scriptures and have fervent daily prayer and that this call would help prepare him for his mission.
Before Wes left on Saturday we did the big put up Christmas and we are still working on the tree. I love Christmas and the lights and the decorations! Each one has a story and I love our full tree with the story it tells of the events for our family. This year the kids voted on the tree top star and Ben won with the colored star even though the rest of the tree is mainly red and gold. Josh wanted gold and so did I but the rest of the kids won the vote:) It is so peaceful to me to sit and just have the tree lit and just ponder for a while. I love the Christmas devotionals I'm trying to do each night we can from our little 24 days of Christmas book. I hope the stories are applied in my children's lives and that they feel the Spirit. That's my goal with trying to pull them together each night.
So, today was Uncle Wesley Chester Gurney's funeral. He is Mom Gardner's brother and was living with Grandma and Karen. He was 73 and Mom is 72. It was peaceful in his sleep. It was strange going alone to this service. There was a family viewing at 9 and then a graveside service at 11. I learned so much about who he was. He was afraid of people until he felt comfortable and our large crew scared him off usually, so we didn't see him much or know him well. Karen told of people he had helped and the animals he loved and he was a sweet man. It has been so hard on Mom and Karen and Grandma. Grandma is 92 and I just think a parent shouldn't ever have to bury a child, no matter what the age. It was nice to be with the family and have a mini reunion of sorts and reconnect. Alex Pena kept Ben all day and Ben played at the Tropica Mango Nursery that he owns. Ben loves watering trees and playing in the sandbox there. I ran some errands in Mesa and barely made it back to get Jarom from school, pick up Ben, run kids home and then get Brennen and Brookly and then gas. Daliln has the truck with Wes gone so I was minus that run today and he picked up Josh for me from Honor Society meeting at 4:45pm. I was exhausted from late nights and stress and could not keep my eyes open sitting up at the table at 4:30 so I laid down and Dallin picked up Josh for me. I woke up at 4:50 but it was nice to lay down for a moment. Then it was dinner, clean up a bit and try to do FHE. We read 2 Christmas stories because we missed the days we were up late putting up lights and at the parade. It seemed to go well and pretty calm but when Wes called and I told kids to get in jammies so we could decorate the gingerbread cookies, that I made last night for Jarom's class and for us, Dallin and Josh had an all out war. They both have different stories and say they didn't do anything but they were quite loud and Wes heard it all. Dallin was on top of Josh when I came in and Josh had thrown things and a chair at Dallin. Who knows the real story but I just don't know how to handle these times. I sent them both to their rooms and they missed our little gingerbread cookies. The rest went to bed ok except for Ben who wanted a bath and didn't get one tonight. He loves to play for a while and it was bedtime. He'll have to have a fast bath tomorrow before preschool.
Mom Sheppard called today to catch up for a moment and Julie went in for the in vitro procedure today and they did get 8 good eggs so we are hopeful that she will get pregnant after over a year of trying. Our prayers are with so many!
Officially now trying to get into bed for the end of Day 1. It's 10:11pm so that's a good day.