Where is my heart?

Where is my heart?

There were several scriptures that really touched me and made me think this week. 

Helaman 10:5 “And now, because thou hast done this with such unwearyingness, behold, I will bless thee forever; and I will make thee mighty in word and in deed, in faith and in works; yea, even that all things shall be done unto thee according to thy word, for thou shalt not ask that which is contrary to my will.”

Helaman 13:12 “Yea, wo unto this great city of Zarahemla; for behold, it is because of those who are righteous that it is saved; yea, wo unto this great city, for I perceive, saith the Lord, that there are many, yea, even the more part of this great city, that will harden their hearts against me, saith the Lord.”

Helaman 15:10 “And now, because of their steadfastness when they do believe in that thing which they do believe, for because of their firmness when they are once enlightened, behold, the Lord shall bless them and prolong their days,“

Helaman 16:23 “And notwithstanding the signs and the wonders which were wrought among the people of the Lord, and the many miracles which they did, Satan did get great hold upon the hearts of the people upon all the face of the land.”

Nephi was blessed incredibly for his unwearyingness and encouraged and continued to preach.  Although most of Zarahemla was wicked the Lord does not let it be destroyed because there are still a few who were righteous.  The Lamanites are the good example here and are praised because of their steadfastness in what they believe and firmness when taught the truth.  I want my family to be the same way.  How do I prevent Satan from having a great hold on my heart?  How do I teach my children to be steadfast and firm and not let Satan in? 

I loved the opportunity this week to discuss the consequences of sin with my son.  My son had to teach the lesson Sunday in Teachers Quorum and I helped him find videos about choices and consequences.  We watched part of David A. Bednar’s DVD from Act in Doctrine called, “The Lord’s Side of The Line.”  He answers a little boy’s question of how to start reading scriptures again if you stop.  He has the end of the rug be the line between the Lord’s side and the devil’s territory.  When you stop reading scriptures and praying then you are walking towards the devil’s territory.  You aren’t doing anything that’s a big sin but the sin just barely on the side of the devil looks better and better.  Then Satan binds you there and the only way back is repentance.  As you study scriptures and pray and do the things that bring you closer to Christ you walk away from the devil’s territory. 

The next video we watched was “Stay Between the Lines” from youth.lds.org.  It was about the choices of a young man who first chooses wrong and has to face the consequences of no spirit on his mission and not being able to take sacrament.  Jarom also shared this in our FHE lesson and we discussed as a family how to stay on the Lord’s side.  We also watched “Leave the Party” from lds.org.  It’s about college students in China who end up at a party and faced with the option to smoke marijuana.  One decides to stay and just hold it and is arrested and loses his scholarship and opportunity for business in Japan.  The two who left end up with employment in Japan and true happiness with opportunities not available if they had chosen differently. 

As we talked as a family we discussed how Satan wants to take away our agency.  My daughter remembered that Satan laughs at us. My son then shared that his leader said, “What you do when noone is looking defines you as a person.”  He shared his testimony of how he always wants to be worthy when noone is looking.  I also shared my testimony and thoughts of how Satan wants us to think there is no way back but we use the Atonement and repent and there is always a way back.  It was a wonderful spirit in our home as we talked. 

I want my heart to be humble and teachable and am grateful for the opportunity to learn with my children and husband as a family.

Lessons Learned From War

The war chapters in The Book of Mormon are incredible!  I love how we are given exactly what we need to know for these days to battle spiritually and win.  I studied Alma 43-62 this week.  I listened to John Bytheway’s talk, “Lessons From The War Chapters” from BYU Education Week. After my personal study and then watching it, I found so many insights I am excited to share.  Brother Bytheway started by asking why there are so many chapters on war.  He gave three reasons to think about.  1.  The prophets saw our day and we are constantly at war.  2.  We are in a time of spiritual war.  3.  Mormon himself was a great warrior and understood battle.  1 Nephi 6:6 “Wherefore, I shall give commandment unto my seed, that they shall not occupy these plates with things which are not of worth unto the children of men.”  Alma had this commandment.  He wrote only things that would benefit us.  Do we pay attention as we read and ask ourselves why this is written for us?  I want to do this more. 

Brother Bytheway went through most of the chapters and gave a lesson from each one he had time to address.  He started by listing Captain Moroni’s enemies “from Z to A.”  Zerahemnah-who eventually swore an oath to never attack Nephites again, Amalickiah and his brother Ammoron who were killed by javelin by Teancum, the King Men who rebelled and were put down by Moroni.  Each one of these was a Nephite.  Who were the most trouble for Nephites?  Apostate Nephites.  Who was the most trouble for Joseph Smith, apostate members.  It made me think of who today is the most loudly opposed and causes the most problems, apostate members.  Brother Bytheway said that when the Nephites dissented and became Lamanites, they didn’t change their lineage, they became Lamanites according to their affiliations and beliefs.  We need to be careful that our own beliefs aren’t affiliated with anything that could slowly be leading us from truth. 

Some of the lessons Brother Bytheway attributes to each chapter are: 

Alma 43:  Prophets will tell us where the enemy will strike.  

Alma 44:  Faith in Christ is a power to be reckoned with – even in war. 

Alma 45:  It is expedient that the word of God be declared.

Alma 46:  Covenants are power!  Place reminders of your covenants everywhere!

Alma 47:  Don’t come down from your mountain.

Alma 48:  Spiritual preparation first.  Make covenants, then swords.

Alma 49:  If ye are prepared ye shall not fear.  Be prepared.

Alma 50:  Build your fortification and listen to the watchmen on the tower. 

Alma 51:  Beware of pride.  Pride within destroys.

Alma 52:  Don’t leave your stronghold.

Alma 53:  If you know the church is true, be true to the church.

Alma 54:  Fear God more than men.  Meekness does not mean weakness. Repentance is vital. 

Alma 55:  Be quick to remember the Lord.  Be cautious that no poison should be administered to you.

That was all there was time for but I added a few of my own observations at the top of each of the remaining chapters.

Alma 56:  2000 stripling warriors knew their mother knew and did not doubt

Alma 57:  Have faith.  Trust in God continually.

Alma 58:  Sometimes it is expedient that we wait patiently for more strength.

Alma 59:  It is easier to keep a city than to retake it so beware dissentions.  Wickedness is weakness. 

Alma 60:  The Lord allows the righteous to be slain so that his justice and judgement come upon the wicked

Alma 61:  Do the will of God.  Fear not.  God will deliver you.

Alma 62:  Freedom is worth fighting for with your life.  Remember the great things the Lord has done.  Pray continually.

I have many heroes from these chapters and want to follow their example.  Moroni, Helaman, Teancum, Lehi, and other leaders were all men of God who served Him and loved Him and taught their people to trust the Lord. 

Moroni is one of my heroes.  He is an inspiring example of courage and faith.  As I read I noted things that struck me about Moroni. 

He was young and willing to follow the Lord. 

He was humble.

He was a man of passion for the cause of Christ.

He was a man of great faith and inspired others to have faith.

He always prepared spiritually first for war.   

He was intelligent and used inspired stratagem to conquer. 

He taught men to defend their families even unto bloodshed.

He loved God, religion, freedom, peace and his wife and children.

He had compassion and valued life.

He didn’t delight in shedding blood.

He was benevolent and a man of his word.

He gave the glory to the Lord for victory. 

He inspired loyalty and duty in his men.

He inspired confidence and others followed him.

He was fair.  He stood up for righteousness.

He knew the Lord would deliver them if they were righteous.

He lived the basics:  faith, repentance, keep commandments, keep covenants.

I tried to look at the war chapters as an instruction manual for our day as I read.  I know that if we follow the examples given and listen to the spirit we will be safe through the spiritual battles of our day.  It seems to be more difficult in this time to obey and follow but we are blessed with the spirit to guide us.  I know that as we pray and follow promptings we can teach our children to be more like our Savior and that is where peace is.  I loved that the end of the war chapters ends in having them pray continually.  Prayer is vital and what I am working on.  I am grateful for the opportunity to learn from these war heroes.  I know that when we are righteous we are blessed.  I want to be like Moroni.  

Our Gift to Christ

Our Gift to Christ:  A Mighty Change of Heart

As we are in the midst of this Christmas season I wanted to reflect on our Savior's birth and life and what it means to follow Him.  I'd like to share some of my study this week from Alma in The Book of Mormon.  Alma was a prophet in Ancient America who gave up his position of authority in the judgment seat to preach and be able to be among his people.  He first goes to Zarahemla and they have strayed from the teachings of the prophets about Christ.  He begins by telling them who he is and asking them to remember their deliverance from bondage of the wicked King Noah who taxed them heavily and persecuted those who believed in Christ’s coming.  This is about 83 BC so they have faith that he will come from the words of the Lord to the prophets. 

Alma 5:3 “I, Alma, having been consecrated by my father, Alma, to be a high priest over the church of God, he having power and authority from God to do these things, behold, I say unto you that he began to establish a church in the land which was in the borders of Nephi; yea, the land which was called the land of Mormon; yea, and he did baptize his brethren in the waters of Mormon.

 4 And behold, I say unto you, they were delivered out of the hands of the people of king Noah, by the mercy and power of God.

 5 And behold, after that, they were brought into bondage by the hands of the Lamanites in the wilderness; yea, I say unto you, they were in captivity, and again the Lord did deliver them out of bondage by the power of his word; and we were brought into this land, and here we began to establish the church of God throughout this land also.

 6 And now behold, I say unto you, my brethren, you that belong to this church, have you sufficiently retained in remembrance the captivity of your fathers? Yea, and have you sufficiently retained in remembrance his mercy and long-suffering towards them? And moreover, have ye sufficiently retained in remembrance that he has delivered their souls from hell?”

Alma wants them to remember their deliverance by God.  He testifies and pleads with them to repent.  He says that the Lord, “changed their hearts, awakened them out of a deep sleep and they awoke unto God.” (vs. 7)

Then he reminds the people of his father’s conversion from the words of the prophet Abinadi, “Behold, I can tell you—did not my father Alma believe in the words which were delivered by the mouth of Abinadi? And was he not a holy prophet? Did he not speak the words of God, and my father Alma believe them? And according to his faith there was a mighty change wrought in his heart. Behold I say unto you that this is all true.” (vs 11-12)

So he speaks of his father’s change of heart and reminds his people that their fathers heard and listened to the prophet and, “a mighty change was also wrought in their hearts, and they humbled themselves and put their trust in the true and living God. And behold, they were faithful until the end; therefore they were saved.” (vs. 13) 

Then he asks the members of the church, “have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts?  Do ye exercise faith in the redemption of him who created you? Do you look forward with an eye of faith, and view this mortal body raised in immortality, and this corruption raised in incorruption, to stand before God to be judged according to the deeds which have been done in the mortal body?” (vs 14-15)

He then asks some poignant questions that make you search your soul if you visualize yourself as whom he is talking to.  “I say unto you, can you imagine to yourselves that ye hear the voice of the Lord, saying unto you, in that day: Come unto me ye blessed, for behold, your works have been the works of righteousness upon the face of the earth?

 Or do ye imagine to yourselves that ye can lie unto the Lord in that day, and say—Lord, our works have been righteous works upon the face of the earth—and that he will save you?

 Or otherwise, can ye imagine yourselves brought before the tribunal of God with your souls filled with guilt and remorse, having a remembrance of all your guilt, yea, a perfect remembrance of all your wickedness, yea, a remembrance that ye have set at defiance the commandments of God?

 I say unto you, can ye look up to God at that day with a pure heart and clean hands? I say unto you, can you look up, having the image of God engraven upon your countenances?”

As I thought about these I was grateful for the power of the Atonement that cleanses us completely when we repent and forsake any sin.  The Atonement covers so much more such as our grief, sorrow and pain, but these verses are asking if we are clean and pure and ready to meet God.  We can be if we apply the Atonement of Christ where He gives us hope and a new life.  Just as Alma said, we are born again spiritually when we give up sin and turn from our old ways and become new.  We can’t lie to God.  He knows us perfectly.  He knows our hearts and our thoughts and our desires.  This is how he can love us perfectly in spite of our actions.  He sees our potential and knows who we were before we came to earth.  He wants us to see this as well.  Do we ask Him who we were?  Who we are?  Who we can become?  Try this in your prayers tonight.  Make time to listen.  The answer will come.  He is waiting to bless us.  He will help us and send comfort and peace and encouragement.  He loves you and me. 

Alma goes on in his preaching to ask, “ And now behold, I say unto you, my brethren, if ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?”

Have you felt His love?  Have you perhaps felt that there was more or something else you needed to do?  Ask Him.  If it seems as though it’s been a while since you felt His love He has never left.  He is still there waiting for your return. 

Do you see a pattern here?  As I read I began to think of how I have felt this change in my heart. A mighty change of heart starts with the desire to be better.  If we want to feel to sing the song of redeeming love it starts now.  I know He loves me.  I have felt His love and forgiveness as I turn to Him. 

Alma says, “…the Lord God hath spoken it!  Behold, he sendeth an invitation unto all men, for the arms of mercy are extended towards them, and he saith: Repent, and I will receive you.  Yea, he saith: Come unto me and ye shall partake of the fruit of the tree of life; yea, ye shall eat and drink of the bread and the waters of life freely...”

So this invitation is open to all. His arms of mercy are extended towards us.  He again pleads for us to Come unto Him. 

Alma then says, “I say unto you, that the good shepherd doth call you; yea, and in his own name he doth call you, which is the name of Christ; and if ye will not hearken unto the voice of the good shepherd, to the name by which ye are called, behold, ye are not the sheep of the good shepherd,” and, “whatsoever is good cometh from God, and whatsoever is evil cometh from the devil.” (vs. 38-40)

So Christ is our good shepherd.  He loves and calls us to Him.  Whatever is good is from God.  We know who to follow and how. 

Alma bears testimony that what he’s said is true and tells them how he knows, “And this is not all. Do ye not suppose that I know of these things myself? Behold, I testify unto you that I do know that these things whereof I have spoken are true. And how do ye suppose that I know of their surety?

 Behold, I say unto you they are made known unto me by the Holy Spirit of God. Behold, I have fasted and prayed many days that I might know these things of myself. And now I do know of myself that they are true; for the Lord God hath made them manifest unto me by his Holy Spirit; and this is the spirit of revelation which is in me.

And moreover, I say unto you that it has thus been revealed unto me, that the words which have been spoken by our fathers are true, even so according to the spirit of prophecy which is in me, which is also by the manifestation of the Spirit of God.

 I say unto you, that I know of myself that whatsoever I shall say unto you, concerning that which is to come, is true; and I say unto you, that I know that Jesus Christ shall come, yea, the Son, the Only Begotten of the Father, full of grace, and mercy, and truth. And behold, it is he that cometh to take away the sins of the world, yea, the sins of every man who steadfastly believeth on his name.” (vs. 45-48)

So if we want to know the truth for ourselves we need to fast, pray and listen for the spirit.  It takes work.  It takes commitment and it takes love to follow our Savior.  As we reflect on his birth the next few weeks let’s also ponder what we can do to know His truth and be like Him. Let’s make our gift to our Savior our own mighty change of heart.

What Jesus Christ's Atonement Means to Me

I loved starting in 2 Nephi 9 this week and reflecting on the Atonement and what it means to me.  The First Presidency and apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints shared their declaration to the world of “The Living Christ” in 2000.

 They said, “We offer our testimony of the reality of His matchless life and the infinite virtue of His great atoning sacrifice. None other has had so profound an influence upon all who have lived and will yet live upon the earth.

“He was the Great Jehovah of the Old Testament, the Messiah of the New. …“

He instituted the sacrament as a reminder of His great atoning sacrifice. He was arrested and condemned on spurious charges, convicted to satisfy a mob, and sentenced to die on Calvary’s cross. He gave His life to atone for the sins of all mankind. His was a great vicarious gift in behalf of all who would ever live upon the earth.

“We solemnly testify that His life, which is central to all human history, neither began in Bethlehem nor concluded on Calvary. He was the Firstborn of the Father, the Only Begotten Son in the flesh, the Redeemer of the world” (“The Living Christ: The Testimony of the Apostles,” Ensign, Apr. 2000, 2–3)

I have deeply pondered on this lately and love that His life, “neither began in Bethlehem nor concluded on Calvary.”  His perfect life is the example I want to follow.   He is central to my life as well as all human history.  I find that as I follow His teachings I am blessed with joy in everyday life.  Our family isn’t perfect and we just keep trying but when we invite the Savior in through prayer I find that He is always there and I “am encircled about eternally in the arms of his love,” just as Nephi.  (2 Nephi 1:15) I am able to handle what I need to with more patience and love as he did. 

President James E. Faust (1920–2007) of the First Presidency declared the importance of our understanding the power of the Atonement:     “Our salvation depends on believing in and accepting the Atonement. Such acceptance requires a continual effort to understand it more fully. The Atonement advances our mortal course of learning by making it possible for our natures to become perfect. …

“… Any increase in our understanding of His atoning sacrifice draws us closer to Him. Literally, the Atonement means to be ‘at one’ with Him. The nature of the Atonement and its effects is so infinite, so unfathomable, and so profound that it lies beyond the knowledge and comprehension of mortal man. …”   

I may not fathom all that the Atonement means but I want to be “at one” with Christ every day.  I feel like Jacob, the brother of Nephi, who exclaimed, “O the wisdom of God, his mercy and grace!...O how great the goodness of our God, who prepareth a way for our escape from the grasp of this awful monster; yea, that monster, death and hell, which I call the death of the body, and also the death of the spirit…O how great the plan of our God! O the greatness and the justice of our God!  For he executeth all his words, …and his law must be fulfilled. O the greatness of the mercy of our God, the Holy One of Israel, (meaning Christ)O how great the holiness of our God! For he knoweth all things and there is not anything save he knows it. …For the atonement satisfieth the demands of justice upon all those who have not the law given to them.”  (2 Nephi 9: 8, 10, 13, 17, 19, 20, 26)  Jacob says that this same loving Savior is the “keeper of the gate … and he employeth no servant there.”  Our judge will be just for, “He cannot be deceived.” (v.41)  He who knows us intimately and suffered for all our sorrow and sin knows our heart and cannot be deceived so our judgment will be perfect from him. 

Jacob writes how much he delights in righteousness and that his, “soul abhorreth sin.”  This is something we strive for as we daily repent and know that there is hope in the atonement for all.  Jacob invites us to, “Come my brethren, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters…do not spend money for that which is of no worth…hearken diligently unto me, and remember the words which I have spoken; and come unto the Holy One of Israel, and feast upon that which perisheth not…” Christ is this living water and when we come to Him we are truly filled. I know He lives and loves me.  I know He is my Savior and that because of his Atonement I can be truly clean and return to live with Him with my family.  I know that through Him we all will be resurrected and have the chance at eternal life with Him if we follow and obey his teachings.  I love my Savior.  I know He loves me.  I know He loves my children and husband and all of you.  His love is individual and real.  Ask Him.  He’ll answer.   I leave these thoughts with you in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Joy in Everyday

In my study of The Book of Mormon this week I studied 1 Nephi 15-22.  I am loving the immersion into the scriptures and I feel like I am getting my own MTC (Missionary Training Center) experience. 

In Chapter 15 Nephi tells us that his brothers were disputing over what their father Lehi had shared with them from his vision.  Nephi says his father's words, "were hard to be understood, save a man should inquire of the Lord." (1 Nephi 15:3)  In the same chapter he asks them, "Have ye inquired of the Lord?" (vs. 8)  What a wonderful question for us!  When things seem difficult to understand that we have heard are we turning to the One who knows all?  I know He hears and answers us.  It may be we have to be patient or even that the answer is "no" but I do believe , "...that all things work together for good to them that love God," (Romans 8:28) 

Nephi goes on to explain that Israel will be gathered and know the "knowledge of their Redeemer and the very points of his doctrine, that they may know how to come unto him and be saved." (vs. 14) The Book of Mormon Institute Manual teaches us who the house of Israel is, "'The house of Israel' generally refers to the descendants of Jacob, whose name was changed to Israel in the Old Testament (see Genesis 32:27–28). In the Book of Mormon the Savior expanded this definition to include not only the literal descendants of Israel (see 3 Nephi 20:25–27) but also all Gentiles who repent, are baptized, and come unto Christ (see 3 Nephi 21:6)."

So that's us.  We can come to this knowledge is we ask.  

Nephi continues to plead with his brothers to, "give heed unto the word of the Lord; yea, I did exhort them with all the energies of my soul, and with all the faculty which I possessed," to give heed and to keep the commandments.  (1 Nephi 15:25)  He loves them and wants them to be happy.  He explains the vision of the tree of life that his father had and that Nephi prayed to know the meaning of.  By Chapter 16 his brothers and frustrated and still don't ask for themselves.  They claim that Nephi ,"hast declared unto us hard things, more than we are able to bear," (16:1)  and Nephi says, "the guilty taketh the truth to be hard, for it cutteth them to the very center." (vs. 3)  I want to be sure that when I think something is hard to do that the Lord commands through his prophet and apostles that I repent and work on my attitude.  

When Lehi's family prepares to journey farther in the wilderness they get ready first and then are given a, "round ball of curious workmanship...of fine brass.  And within the ball were two spindles; and the one pointed the way whither we should go into the wilderness," (16:10) So they first had the faith to follow what the Lord commanded and then were given help to do so.  They find out that the ball, or Liahona, only works when they are faithful.  Nephi comments, "thus we see that by small means the Lord can bring about great things." (vs. 29)  So many times in my life it has been something small that has brought blessings or joy.  Following a prompting from the spirit to call a friend, listening when truth is taught, spending time with a child are examples of how small things have been a blessing in my life as well as theirs. 

I love the attitude of Nephi through all the writings we have of him.  He is positive and looks to the Lord for strength and continues to praise Him.  In 1 Nephi 16:8 Nephi says, "I, Nephi, had been blessed exceedingly."  He is referring to his new wife.  What a wonderful attitude towards marriage and family he has.  Nephi says, "so great were the blessings of the Lord upon us," (17:2) referring to women being made strong to bear and nurse children in the wilderness.  After he is led by the Lord to build a boat and bound by his brothers who have had enough of his goodness, and a storm rages for four days he is finally released and he says, "I did look unto my God, and I did praise him all the day long..." (18:16)  Compare Nephi to his brothers who complain and say of their wives bearing children in the wilderness, "if would have been better that they had died before they came out of Jerusalem than to have suffered these afflictions." (1 Nephi 17:20) and then in verse 21, "we might have been happy."  I thought about that for a while.  Nephi is valiant, trying to do what's right and loves his brothers enough to want them to follow God as well and even when he is abused by them he still praises God.  I want to be like Nephi.  I want to find joy in the here and now.

Nephi shares why he writes these things in chapter 19.  He says, "And I, Nephi, have written these things unto my people, that perhaps I might persuade them that they would remember the Lord their Redeemer." (19:18) and, "I did liken all scriptures unto us, that it might be for our profit and learning." (19:23)

Nephi goes on to share his thoughts on Isaiah in chapters 20-21 and I loved why he does this.  He says, "I will liken his words unto my people, and I will send them forth unto all my children, for he verily saw my Redeemer, even as I have seen him." (2 Nephi 11:2-3) He wants his children, and us, to have hope and know where to turn to find the source of that hope.  He saw Christ and loves the similar testimony of Isaiah who also saw Christ.  

There were several verses in these quoted Isaiah chapters that stood out to me.  The one I want to share is 1 Nephi 20:10: "For, behold, I have refined thee, I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction" was the first that touched me as I thought of my challenges and personal struggles.  It's almost been a year, October 18, 2015, since I fell on the way to the Phoenix Temple Open House with my family and broke both legs.  It has been a difficult and long recovery with several complications.  I am gaining motion a little at a time and the pain is slowly decreasing.  I feel this has been a purifying furnace for me and my family.  I want to be a disciple of Christ and realize that my suffering cannot compare to his.  I will continue to look for joy everyday and try to be more like Nephi.

Tender Mercies

I realize it's been a few years since I blogged and there are too many events and changes to list here.
 I have recently chosen to return to school and am starting the BYU Idaho Pathway program.  I will be blogging what I am learning to see how I grow.  I also have a Becoming Project and have chosen the attribute humble, to search for as I read, to be more like Christ.  I will share my insight and feelings as I read with becoming more humble in mind.

This week we studied in 1 Nephi 1-5. I loved learning about the study skill, Principles and Doctrine.  As I read I asked myself, "So what?" as in what will I do now with this information that has been given to me.  As I daily studied and reflected on these passages several parts touched me that I'd like to share.  Nephi shares the story of his family and how they came to leave the land they had always lived in and loved.  I could relate with our difficult move four years ago from the city our children had grown up in, known and loved for thirteen years.  He is the younger brother and listens as his father, the prophet Lehi, tells of coming destruction.  Lehi prays and the Lord warns him of the destruction of Jerusalem with visions and dreams.  Lehi tries to warn Jerusalem that their wickedness will have them destroyed if they don't repent.  This endangers his life and his family.  The Lord tells Lehi in a dream to "take his family and depart into the wilderness." (1 Nephi 2:3) He is obedient and takes his family.

I loved reading that Nephi prays to know for himself.  I have always loved the counsel given by Joseph Smith that we cannot endure on borrowed light; if we do not have self-light, we will not stand. (See Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, pp. 11-12.)

I feel a great urgency to make sure my self-light is strong and sure.

Nephi tells us "when the Jews heard these things they were angry with him; yea, even as with the prophets of old, whom they had cast out, and stoned, and slain; and they also sought his life, that they might take it away.  But behold, I Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance."  That last sentence is powerful to me.  As we have faith we can be the chosen who receive these tender mercies from the Lord, if we need, even to the power of deliverance.  There are many tough challenges in our family that I hope for deliverance from.  Starting with my own pride and attitude sometimes, to the difficult emotional and physical challenges within our family daily. 

Elder David A Bednar tells us that tender mercies are “very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ.”  (David A. Bednar, “The Tender Mercies of the Lord,” Liahona, May 2005, 99–102)  I loved the insight this gave into many mercies I receive but hadn’t realized. 

One of the examples I loved studying this week was of Sariah, Lehi’s wife.  They have lived in Jerusalem all their lives.  Lehi is instructed by the Lord to warn Jerusalem and then to preserve his life must take his family and leave.  They leave all comforts and the home and life they love behind.  They travel around two weeks to get to a safe place for their family and then are instructed to go back to get the record of the people and the gospel.  Sariah has faith in God but trusts her husband enough that she lets her four sons go back when she knows they aren’t getting along.  They are gone longer than expected and I felt she was heartbroken and thinks her sons have been killed.  As I watched her joy at their return and praise to God I see her grow and her faith grow.  What a tender mercy that God is patient with a sorrowing mother and brings her sons home.  I love how God works in my life and is patient with me, even when I sometimes murmur as Laman and Lemuel did.  I am working on seeing the tender mercies in my life.  Will you join me? 

Back To School

As always I have to play catch up for this blog.  There is so much going on I don't know where to start.
 Today is the first day that I am ALONE in 18 years for a school day.  This is quite emotional for me.  I'm not able to concentrate on doing the million things I had planned on yet.  Josh started Monday as a Sophomore at Combs.  Dallin is at work until he starts MCC on Aug 20th.  The younger 4 went off to Legacy Traditional today with quite a flair.  There was crying and fits and they weren't all from me.  Skirt too short-yes to the knee it must be even with leggings and yes, you've grown since we bought it a month ago- a backpack fiasco since the new one didn't come in the mail yet and the old one just wouldn't do today and a schedule fot 7th Grade not available, even though we went last night to get it.  Missed Flag for Ben waiting for Brookly's schedule to get fixed. She had been placed in Algebra and not Course 3 Pre-Algebra.  You really need to know the basics in this to build on, so her teacher recommended Course 3 even though she tested into Algebra.  She also had drama that she was given Computers, not Choir/Drama.  The Vice Principal said they did the best they could and they wouldn't change that but I asked if it was available with the other switch to help her out.  She left it on her desk last night and noone knew where we could find it even though we were there early this morning with assurance that it would be done before Flag.   Finally had to leave Brookly to find it herself and run to Ben's class.  Poor girl, rough first day of 7th Grade for sure. We were on the wrong playground for Ben's class and said goodbye to Jarom as we ran back around the school and just missed his class going in.  They had already done Flag Ceremony and yes, he missed his first one of 1st Grade.  I did walk back and get a pic of him at his desk with his supplies though. 

Ben is so excited for 1st Grade!

How do I let this boy go?

Jarom is ready for a great 5th Grade year!

Brennen is an 8th Grade Wonder!

The boys ready but still missing one.

There they are at school.

Brookly ready now for 7th Grade.

Off goes Ben...

I had to go see him in class since he missed the opening ceremony.

So I'm home feeling lonely and wondering how it could have been a little smoother.  I hope the teachers need me in class very soon.

What's Up

Still no test results for Jarom.  Tomorrow is District Science Fair and we hope to see Dallin run in one of his last track meets.  had to cancel Josh counselor and 2 piano students to be able to make it there.

No More Primary Secretary

I was released Sunday the 25th as the Primary Secretary and called as the Bear leader with my friend Wendy Hargrave as the assistant.  It will be fun but I'm sad I miss Jarom as a Webelos.  They haven't had active Bear leaders for at least the 8 months we've lived here so these boys need attention too.
Today was a bit overwhelming with all the things going on but I'm sure I'll be blessed to work it out.

Science Fair 2012

Brennen's Propeller Size Project

Brookly's Magnetism on Plants Project

Jarom's airplane launcher project

After months of work this is the final result of the science fair.  Brennen placed 3rd overall for Jr. High and will go to District tomorrow. Brookly was in the final few but didn't place and Jarom's just looks awesome!  They worked hard and we are glad to be done!



A Visit from Rita

Grandma and Grandpa Gardner enjoying the sun

Wes and Nicole with Rita

Crazy kids convinced Eric to hop in the pool with them.

Vicki and Verle's crew that came

Ben was a little chilled

Maybe getting in wasn't such a good idea

Saturday March 3rd

Karisa, Vicki, Rita and Karen

Rita came to town and we decided to throw a famiy BBQ!  We had a great time and loved visiting with everyone!  The kids jumped in the pool and convinced Eric to get in with them.  It was a wonderful time of reconnecting with family and relaxing.





Jarom's Tests

Jarom at PHX Children's Hospital for EEG

March 16th.  All hooked up and ready to sleep:)

Sometime in December Jarom began having awful headaches.  We are hoping they are just migraines.  Dr. Bhakoo ordered an MRI in January and the results showed an enlarged right ventricle and a shadow he didn't like and it was the recommendation of the radiologist to see a neurologist.  Finally we got an appointment on Feb 28th with Dr. Alarcio and she felt he needed another MRI  to compare with contrast in it and then an EEG.  This is the EEG over Spring Break which is good because he had to be sleep deprived for this test.  He went to bed at 12:15am and got up at 4:38am because our alarms didn't go off right.  He was plenty sleep deprived and so were we:)  We are waiting for the results of this test.

Today, March 21st, was his set of MRI's.  He was excited to miss school and nervous about the IV for the contrast.  We got to PHX Children's Specialty Clinic and the tech told us he may not have to have the contrast if the radiologist thought the MRI looked good.  This is different than what Dr. Alarcio told us so we'll see how this plays out.  After about 25 mninutes in the MRI Jarom began to cry and bite his lip.  He finally pushed the emergency button and said his head hurt terribly.  After getting him to lay back down he pushed the button again a little while later.  The tech was patient but told him he had to wait for the end of the 3 minutes to finish the 15 minute series or restart.  This time I gave him ibuprofen and they brought him juice and I held the cold cup to his head but he didn't feel much better. 

The whole time I was praying he could do it and when he said his own prayer he felt peace and knew he'd make it even though it was painful.  It was very hard to watch and not be able to take the pain away.  The tears slid down the sides of his face as he lay there.  My prayers were for him to be able to stand the pain so we didn't have to do this again.  Sweet boy.  I love my Jarom!

Jarom was able to finish and the radiologist thought he didn't need contrast.  We hope this is the end of the MRI's.  We are waiting for these results now as well.

He began to feel better after lunch and did go back to school.

2012 Queen Creek North Stake Trek

Before:  Josh and Dallin

After:  Josh and Dallin

A little dirtier and exhausted but spiritually fed.

March 15-17

What a blessing having the Stake interested in the Youth is!  Dallin and Josh were blessed with 2 different experiences with Trek with our old Apache Junction Stake and now here in San Tan Valley.  While there were definitely things they liked from one or the other and others they didn't they would agree it was a great experience and I'm grateful for the bonding with our own ward members it brought this time.  Bishop Hyde said both our boys worked hard and he was impressed.  The Women's Pull needed explained to the boys better this time so they weren't goofing off but our boys tried to catch the spirit of it. 

The main thing our boys learned at each Trek was that they can do hard things!  Rely on the Lord and together you can do anything.

Daddy Daughter Sweetheart Dance

Feb. 17, 2012

What a sweet night for Brookly and her Daddy!

They went on a date to Texas Roadhouse

and then to the dance at Legacy where they had a great time together!

Amazing Creative Ben

Ben's awesome gun he made out of cutting and gluing paper strips.  Notice the rolled pieces and the GPS on top he says.

These pictures are from Ben's book report on A Car's Christmas.  He's amazing!  His teacher asked if we helped to draw them.  He's only in Kindergarten.  Each picture took hours:)