Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Testing...Testing

Tests have been on my mind this week as I watch 5 of my 6 children go to take the state mandated standardized tests. It starts me wondering... They have prepared all year for this week. They have been taught how to test, what will be on the test and how to successfully do the work required. Yet, they still lay awake late last night, nervous for the first round of tests today. Each child was nervous over different aspects but it comes down to - will they be able to remember and perform the things they have learned at an acceptable level to pass the test? They had prepared all year and eaten a good breakfast - hey, we tried to include eggs with the cereal. Does this sound familiar?
We are here to be tested in this life right? We have been given an open book test and all the answers. Do we lay awake afraid we don't know all the answers? Do we wonder if our work is acceptable? Do we sometimes cry because we fail to do all we know we should? Do we make mistakes and wish we could erase those things we've said or done?
"I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them. " I Ne 3:7
We can repent and do better. We can try harder and continue to be lifted by His grace when we fall again.
"...my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them. " Ether 12:27
There are so many things I feel weak in. Maybe this is to keep me humble. I do think the Lord has a sense of humor. And I know He loves me and cares for me. I do not know why I've been so blessed and I worry and care for those in other countries of oppression and genocide that I've been learning about more recently. I can't solve those problems but I can pray for them and pray for peace in my own heart. If I start with my family and circle of influence I can do good here and now. Being the Mom of 6 of Heavenly Father's most precious spirits seems overwhelming most days with the responsibility. As they fight over dishes and whose turn it is to pray I wonder if I've taught anything at all. Then I remember the many years of learning I had being schooled in a home of love and acceptance. It took a while for me to have it sink in. Can I give my children room to grow and wait patiently while they learn?
We know the end results of this test. We do all we can to live the gospel here and we are promised eternal glory and life with our families and Father again. Pretty great reward for a job that feels so unrewarding and thankless sometimes, as I look at the mounds of laundry, bills and dishes that need attending to. I'm so grateful that we get to erase the mistakes and start again on this test every day. I pray I will give more growing room to my family and friends and anyone who comes my way as we work on this test together.

2 comments:

Lynnette said...

Thanks for the insight. It is always good to know that, even though our tests are all different, there is one who knows all the answers. It is comforting to know that he will be there to help and guide us, even when the answers are not clear cut, and even a little confusing.

joni said...

So True, I just keep wondering why we have to be tested so much! Love your insights though!